Seeing average-looking black women in healthy relationships, two overweight black women advancing at work, a woman from the hood making more money, or a woman who grew up without a father getting married can stir up feelings of injustice or confusion. It might feel like there's some sort of unfairness in the world, or that there's a systemic barrier keeping you from achieving the same level of happiness or success.
But let's break it down. Maybe you underestimated the importance of your facial symmetry or overestimated the significance of beauty. Perhaps you didn't realize the extent of their ambition compared to your own drive. You might have discounted their anxiety while overvaluing your own appeal. Or maybe you leaned too heavily on your background instead of forging meaningful connections like they did.
Ultimately, it's not about them—it's about you. They haven't done anything wrong by having the things you desire. Your feelings of outrage are something to explore with your therapist, helping you understand and work through any underlying issues. It's all part of your journey towards self-discovery and personal growth.
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