Sunday, November 27, 2005

Give Him a Chance… or Step the Heck Back

Okay, ladies (and anyone brave enough to read this)—over this summer, I’ve seen, heard, and collected enough relationship wisdom to fill a small notebook, a binder, and maybe an extra backpack. Seriously. So here’s me, sharing the gospel according to Leata. Buckle up.

Step 1: Let him miss you.
Put down the phone. Step AWAY from the keyboard. No. Really. Stop drafting that sixth email to Mr. Hot Guy you met three weeks ago who hasn’t written back yet. (Yes, I said SIX. Don’t lie.) He’s not busy. He’s not dead in a ditch. He’s just not into you. Accept it. Move on. And yes, I have been there. True story. Brother wasn’t dead, just… being a jackass.

Here’s the deal: men are wired to pursue. To chase. To court. If you’re blowing up his voicemail and showing up on his doorstep every other night, guess what? You just eliminated the game. The fun. The challenge. (And yes, sisters, there is a difference between fun and stalking. HUGE.)

If a man is genuinely interested, he’ll find time. He’ll call. He’ll email. He’ll plan a date just to see your face. And yes, he’ll text you random “Hey” messages in between meetings, because that’s what people who want something do. If you’re doing all the work, honey? He doesn’t want it. Period.

Some women will roll their eyes here and say, “But I’m strong. I go after what I want.” Sure. Be a boss. But don’t be shocked when things don’t turn out the way your romantic rom-com brain imagines. Reality bites. Men either want you… or they don’t. You can’t convince a man to chase you. It just doesn’t work like that.

Quick truth bomb: men take time to get ready. Women? We’re already ready. (No, seriously. Think about it. We’re ready at a moment’s notice. Men… they strategize.) You can’t force desire. Step back, let him act—or disappear.

Step 2: How you get your man is how you lose your man.
Case study time (y’all know I love examples): Brad Pitt. Yes. That Brad Pitt. The man moves like… well… a man with options. Gwyneth to Jennifer. Jennifer to Angelina. History repeats. Pattern exists. If a man leaves, cheats, or ghosted before, guess what? Odds are he’ll do it again. Don’t pretend you’re immune. Don’t pretend hope is stronger than pattern. Respect reality.

This doesn’t mean give up. It means observe. Watch the signals. Step back. Let the universe sort the wheat from the chaff. Let him show up—or not.

Ladies, trust me: if he’s worth it, he’ll make himself clear. If he’s not, he’ll fade into history. And when that happens? You’ll be ready. Emotionally. Strategically. Sovereignly. (Yes. Sovereignly. Because that’s the only way we operate.)

Stop chasing. Let him miss you. Recognize patterns. Don’t overwrite reality with wishful thinking. Let the universe—and your boundaries—do the work.

End of sermon. Go forth. Be fabulous.

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