Dating, Disasters, and Deciding to Not Beg

The roomie and I were on the bus, talking about the daily tosses and turns of dating. She’s telling me about her last guy...finally did what he said he was going to do. Gave her directions, cooked dinner, uncorked some wine…felt all grown up, right? Then BAM: his little sister calls. Something’s wrong with their mom. Mom has his car, which means my girl has to drive him there. They get there, and mother dear is throwing up everywhere—not Exorcist-level, but close enough to gag. Dinner? Forget it. Apologies all around.

We laughed. I mean, hope no one’s barfing on purpose just to ruin a date…right?

Then it hit us both. The thrill? Gone. And I don’t mean the song. I mean the spark, the chase, the energy. You meet someone, they’re eager, texting, calling, taking you out, showing up…then BAM—slow replies, obsessive energy, petty frustration if you don’t answer one day. Like, hello? I could be dead in a gutter, lost my phone, living my life.

So we made a pact. Nonchalant. If they call, cool. If not, cool. No more subtle hints, no more “concerned girlfriend energy” when all I want is respect for my time. No more last-on-the-totem-pole nonsense.

I’ve been raised to know my worth. My dad treated me like a princess, waiting for someone who treats me like a queen. Why settle for scraps? If a man wants this to grow, he should show up with a plan.

My husband is Out there somewhere. I’m out here too. Waiting sucks, yes, but when he arrives—everything I want, everything I need—it’ll be worth it. Till then? Live, let live, keep your standards high. Be bold, meet people, put yourself out there…because I’m not shy forever (though maybe a lil’ liquor helps with courage).

And one thing I’ve learned//good men exist. One was mine, ended well, left a mark. But if he’s not mine forever? Fine. Someone else will be lucky.

So here’s the final word: come with a plan or don’t come at all. I’m done begging. I’m done waiting for someone to realize my value. I’m shaking things up, leaning into my power, and keeping my heart intact until the right one steps forward.