Church Ain’t No Brothel but Folks Still Play Games

I’ve been sitting back, watching this whole scene play out, and I can’t help but notice patterns. There’s a man I know, always been “more spiritual than religious.” Into self-help, meditation, the woo-woo life. Never really identified with church, even though he came from it. When he was with our mutual friend, he was all vibes and self-discovery, nothing about doctrine.

Then he meets this new girlfriend and suddenly he’s all in. Sunday service, Bible study, quoting scripture, calling himself a man of God. I didn’t immediately side-eye. People grow closer to the Lord as they age. Folks change. That’s real.

But then comes the truth. Cheating on this same girlfriend, trying to sleep with the old mutual friend. I asked him straight up: what’s the point of going to church every week, reading the Bible, preaching to people, if you’re living like that? He tells me God’s still working on him. I laughed softly. That’s the excuse of someone not ready to do the work.

So I go to this church outing, just to see what the energy is. His girlfriend can’t stop praising him. “I know I’m blessed,” she says. His friends echo it. “Man of God, man of God.” He’s embarrassed, but you can see he likes the attention. And I realize, right here, right now, he’s got it made. Drinking, smoking, sleeping around, yet elevated like a saint.

Meanwhile, women get a magnifying glass put on every move. One slip, one laugh, one casual text, and suddenly it’s moral decay. Jezebel this, Jezebel that. Women are policed, men are pedestalized. The hypocrisy is thick. Proverbs 31 says a virtuous woman’s worth is far above rubies. But sometimes I wonder if folks are even reading the second part—she’s praised for wisdom, diligence, and integrity, not just for who she’s married to or how she looks.

I’m not here saying people need to be perfect when they walk through the church doors. God knows none of us are. But the double standard is real. And for all the Sunday morning sermons, for all the Bible readings and group praise, this culture still allows men to get away with the mess, while women are scrutinized for the tiniest thing.

Church is not a brothel. It’s not a social experiment in seeing how far men can sin while being worshipped. And yet, here we are, watching the same story unfold again and again. You can sit and pray, you can sing, you can read the Word—but if your heart isn’t working, if your character isn’t moving, all the praise in the world doesn’t make you a man of God.

Folks, church is a place for growth, accountability, and correction. Not a place to get validation for the bare minimum. And maybe the lesson here is simple: God sees everything, whether we’re lifting a man up for appearances or shaming a woman for breathing. 

 Ecclesiastes 12:14 says, “For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.” Don’t let the pedestal fool you.