Observations in Office Dynamics

There’s a colleague who sits beside me, a younger Black woman—whose demeanor is consistently aloof, off-putting even. At first I wondered if it was me. No. I am friendly. Approachable. Open. Easy to engage. That’s who I am. She is younger. Private. Unpredictable in subtle ways.

She is professional, poised beyond her years, and she parents a toddler alone. That alone commands respect. raising a child without a partner is a challenge that few can fully understand. Her private nature extends into every facet of life. Boundaries, clearly drawn. I respect privacy. I do. But selective opacity creates friction. ...not being judgmental, just an observation.

Her son is raised with rigor: strict media rules, no snacks, structured routines. She is rigid. Her approach contrasts with mine: I am adaptable, more experimental, more willing to bend small rules for joy, for ease, for levity. Age and circumstance shape us differently. our respective experiences inform our styles.

Now, the interaction (or lack thereof): Despite proximity, greetings go unreturned. Conversations are truncated. Social overtures meet minimal acknowledgment. Even neutral queries can be ignored or circumvented. I’ve noticed this dynamic isn’t just me, other coworkers perceive the same walls. Yet, she maintains close rapport with another peer who mirrors her age and energy level. Clearly, it isn’t about hierarchy or competence.

I am left to consider, it is Habitual privacy? Or some unspoken code of engagement I have yet to decode? The ambiguity gnaws at me. My own nature is communal, I initiate connection because the office is where the majority of our waking hours occur. Courtesy, acknowledgment, inclusion...these are not optional in my operational ethic.

I do not require friendship. I do require basic professional civility, the minimum currency of respect: a nod, a hello, engagement sufficient to keep the shared space functional and humane. The absence is  irritating,,,

She functions effectively, but the lack of communication is a puzzle I may never fully solve.

Some energies are to be noted, not absorbed.