Dating and Racial Bias Let’s Be Real About It 💅🏾

Look, I get it—people have preferences. Everybody likes what they like. But let’s not act like all preferences are innocent choices. Some of y’all are out here fetishizing people or rejecting them based on internalized bias, and then acting like it’s just a “preference.” Let’s talk about it. 🤨

When “Preference” Is Just a Fantasy in Disguise 💭

We’ve all seen it—the people who obsess over a certain race because of some fantasy they’ve built in their head. Some men treat women like exotic trophies, and some women see men as their fantasy fulfillment rather than actual human beings.

🚩 “I only date Asian women because they’re submissive.”
🚩 “I love Black men because they’re more dominant.”
🚩 “I want a mixed baby with curly hair and light eyes.”
🚩 “Dark-skinned women are aggressive.”

Chile, what?! 😒 These ain’t preferences—this is racial fetishization and bias disguised as dating standards. Y’all out here treating people like they’re characters in a fantasy novel, not actual individuals.

Men vs. Women: The Battle of the Sexes Ain’t Helping Either 💥

One of the worst things about racial bias in dating is how much energy men and women spend tearing each other down.

🔹 Some men: “Black women are too independent, too loud, too difficult.”
🔹 Some women: “Black men don’t protect us, they always choose lighter-skinned women.”
🔹 Some non-Black people: “Black women are too strong, but Black men are sexy.”
🔹 Some Black folks: “White women steal our men, Asian women only date Black guys for mixed babies.”

Like… can we stop?! 🙄 This constant back-and-forth is exhausting. We can talk about dating dynamics without making it a warzone. Black men and Black women are NOT enemies.

The Real Problem? People Don’t Want to Unpack Their Bias.

Nobody wants to admit when their “preference” is actually rooted in bias, insecurity, or fantasy. But if you only date a certain type of person because of a stereotype, then you’re not really seeing them—you’re just chasing an idea.

And the worst part? A lot of this bias comes from media, social conditioning, and generational narratives that we never question.

📺 Movies show Black women as loud and aggressive.
📸 Social media glorifies mixed-race babies like they’re accessories.
👩🏽‍🦱 Light-skinned women get praised while darker-skinned women get ignored.
💬 Men who date outside their race get called “successful,” while women get called “sellouts.”

This stuff is deep. And it’s why I cringe every time somebody starts talking about skin tone, race, and dating like it’s a competition.

At the End of the Day… Just Keep It Honest.

💡 Date who you want, but be real about WHY you want them. If your preference is based on a stereotype, it ain’t a preference—it’s a bias.
💡 Stop using race as an excuse to put others down. You can have a type without tearing down people who don’t fit it.
💡 Men and women need to stop battling each other. We’re all dealing with the same struggles in different ways—let’s stop acting like enemies.

And as for me? Men date me for multiple reasons. Some for sex, some for something deeper, and some realize real quick they can’t handle me and move on. And that’s okay. 🌿

But one thing I know for sure? I will NEVER be somebody’s fantasy, experiment, or afterthought. Either come correct, or don’t come at all. 💅🏾🔥