The Throne Ain’t a Lounge

Today I learned something that made me sit up a little straighter… and also get up a little faster. 🚽

Apparently, sitting on the toilet too long can raise your chances of getting hemorrhoids.

Now that might sound like one of those pieces of wisdom our grandmothers already knew but never felt the need to explain. But I heard a group of women talking about it on a podcast, and the way they broke it down made a whole lot of sense.

Hemorrhoids are basically swollen veins around the lower rectum and anus. Pressure builds there when we sit too long, especially in that position where gravity is already doing its thing. Doctors say if you’re parked on the toilet longer than about five minutes, you’re already stretching the moment more than your body intended.

And these days the real culprit ain’t always constipation.

It’s the phone. 📱

You go in there to handle business, but the moment you sit down that little glowing screen starts whispering. One post leads to another. Next thing you know you’re doom-scrolling like the bathroom turned into a break room.

Men are the main ones guilty of this.

A lot of men treat that bathroom like a private clubhouse. Phone in one hand, door locked, sitting there longer than necessary while they scroll, watch, or… let’s just say “pass the time.” Meanwhile all that sitting keeps pressure pushing down on the pelvic floor and the veins back there. Your body thinking you working when really you just camping out.

And the wild part is many men will sit there long enough to create the problem… but when it comes time to see a doctor about that same problem, suddenly pride shows up. Because hemorrhoids sometimes require an exam that involves the rectum, and that’s a level of vulnerability many men would rather dodge.

But swollen veins don’t care about pride.

Leave them irritated long enough and they’ll make their presence known. Pain, itching, sometimes bleeding. In more serious cases doctors have to remove them if they become thrombosed or prolapsed. Nobody trying to sign up for that kind of appointment.

Back in the day folks kept magazines or newspapers in the bathroom. The classic image of a man on the throne reading the morning paper. Comics joked about it. Sit long enough and you’d finish the sports section before you finished your business.

Clinically speaking though… that wasn’t a good habit either.

The body likes efficiency. Come in, release what needs releasing, wash up, keep moving.

And I’ll be honest. Today I caught myself slipping into that same modern ritual. Sitting there scrolling, time sliding by without me noticing. That’s when awareness tapped me on the shoulder.

Finished my business and got up.

Because the bathroom is for release, not residency.

Small wisdom for the day. ✨

And yes… I was a little more mindful of my time.

Giggity. 😉