Magnetism and Mirrors

Some people burn into your consciousness in a way that nothing else can. I’ve known them—those rare individuals who demand your attention, make your mind loop and your body lean toward them without permission. You sense it immediately this isn’t casual. It’s magnetic...

I’ve had other experiences where I've dated, moved on, tested the waters, but none of it ever landed like that. Some were pleasant enough, sometimes fun, sometimes curious, sometimes kind. But nothing stirred the kind of heat that makes your mind compulsive. That kind of chemistry rarely lands with someone safe. It lands with people whose edges scratch yours, whose imperfections force you to confront your own, whose presence is addictive even when it’s unhealthy.

Male attention in general is a complicated thing. It is rarely neutral. Sometimes it flatters, sometimes it alarms, sometimes it leaves you unsettled. The way it’s given often reflects more about the giver than the receiver. And as a young Black woman, navigating that attention is layered, textured, and heavy. Social pressue and Eurocentric standards shaped my perception for years. I wanted the smooth, straight hair and light eyes that the world seemed to reward, but I had to come home to myself. Braids & Cornrowed natural hair, shifting eyes, unapologetic black...these are my armor, my declaration. Acceptance is not a gift; it is a daily practice.

So I navigate. I observe. I respond.. But I guard. I honor the spaces I occupy, the body I inhabit, the mind I command. I live fully awake, even when mundane. A commute, a cup of coffee, a quiet hour with my thoughts. they are not trivial. They are the scaffolding of discipline, patience, and self-respect.

The rare  moments exist, to teach and tempt, and I process them within the bounds of principle. I do not surrender autonomy for infatuation. I recognize chemistry without granting it dominion. Celibacy, self-possession, and measured engagement are not deprivation, they are training. They are sharpening the mind, the spirit, and the capacity to recognize what aligns with purpose versus what simply ignites the senses.

Attraction comes. It goes. I remain.