Desire Is Not a Command

I dreamed last night.

That is the simple fact, and it matters more than people like to admit. Dreams are not moral proposals. They are data.

The dream involved a coworker. His name is Jarel. He’s 27. I’m 38. We’ve worked together for roughly 8 months. Our interactions have always been easy, professional, uncharged. He also has a girlfriend. , not my worries because I don't see myself attracted to him.

In the dream, there was no workplace. There was time. Leisure time and  Conversation . We ate, we talked, we laughed. The intimacy followed naturally,...not abruptly, not aggressively, but as dreams tend to construct it: mutual, vivid, emotionally coherent. We acknowledged each other as a couple and it felt so real. In a way dreams do when they are exploring connection...

I woke up aroused. Bur, what lingered was the question of why.

Why this person, when I have never pursued him?
Why now?
Why an experience that felt emotionally reciprocal when no such intention exists in waking life?

I saw him at work today, in fact we're both still on the clock until 4:00 a.m. and he's likely going to give me a ride home today. But this dream is not to be mentioned to him.

The common error with sexual dreams is literalism.... assuming that because the experience felt real, it must be acted upon. But that in itself isn't necessarily true and it's a misunderstanding that can make you feel guilty. Don't feel guilty because I'm not necessarily attracted to Jarel, though he is Fine, I have my boundaries.

Dreams are symbolic systems. Sex, in particular, is a high-density symbol. It carries vitality, recognition, ease, mutuality, and embodied presence all at once. The presence of sex does not indicate intent; it indicates intensity of information.

What mattered in the dream was not Jarel as an individual, but what his presence represented: low resistance, uncomplicated enjoyment, being met without negotiation. The psyche often borrows familiar, contained figures to explore these states safely. Someone present but unavailable is not a contradiction... it is a safeguard.

Seeing him at work returned that single immediately...This is not something to pursue.

THAT'S MY LEVEL OF DISCERNMENT

The dream did not reveal a hidden wish to destabilize my life. It revealed a desire for ease, play, and embodied presence—qualities that can be cultivated deliberately, without violating boundaries or values

I don’t feel bad about the dream.
I don’t feel compelled by it.
I feel informed.

And more often than not, that is the point.