If you’re still making appointments with a man who hurt you—whether for conversation, closure, or cough “comfort”... you have not moved on.
Stop telling your homegirls you’re done. Stop acting brand new on social media. Stop writing poetic captions about healing while still cracking your door open at midnight to let in the very man you claim broke you.
That’s not healing. That’s prolonging your own captivity.
1. You say you’re done, but you’re still scheduling him like he’s a dentist?
Let me be clear. You don’t owe someone who traumatized you another visit. Another explanation. Another taste of your time or your body. There is no “civilized” way to keep reopening the same wound and calling it growth.
If you’re still giving this man access to you—for sex, for attention, for nostalgia—you are not free.
You’re not stronger.
You’re not above it.
You’re still in it.
2. Harboring His Belongings = Harboring His Spirit
His shoes are still in your closet.
His clothes folded in your drawer.
His gun—yes, his actual weapon—is still in your house.
His tools, his tires, his essentials are parked in your emotional garage... and you’re trying to say you “let him go”?
Let’s be honest. You’ve built a museum to him.
Every time you walk past that corner of your place, his energy is still there—because you kept a physical portal open. You don’t need sage. You need strength. You need clarity. You need to stop lying to yourself about “waiting for him to pick it up.”
Sis. It’s been eight months. He don’t want the stuff.
You want the excuse.
3. Closure is not a collaboration. It’s a decision.
You don’t need him to come get anything if you really meant “goodbye.” Bag it, box it, burn it, or donate it—because the moment a man becomes your poison, everything attached to him becomes contaminated too.
We have got to stop preaching empowerment while simultaneously leaving spiritual and emotional backdoors wide open. You can't be a fortress on Instagram and a revolving door in real life.
4. Stop Hiding Behind “It’s Just a Thing”
“It’s just a hoodie.”
“It’s just his drill set.”
“It’s just a few shirts he left.”
No. It's just your inability to let go.
Because if it really was “just a thing,” it wouldn’t bother you to get rid of it. If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t be assigning sentiment to it and building excuses to delay detachment.
You don’t get to say you’re moving forward while leaving breadcrumb trails for him to find his way back.
So Let Me Say This With Love (and Fire):
If he didn’t gift it to you, it’s not yours.
If it’s essential to his survival, it’s not your business to keep.
And if you’re using his stuff as a leash—emotional or otherwise—you’re still enslaved by the fantasy of reconciliation.
So stop playing the role of the healed woman when you’re still hosting his ghost.
Be real.
Be raw.
And then be done.
GET RIGHT AND GET RID.
Because you’re not just clearing space in your closet.
You’re clearing space in your soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment