I love Black men, always have, always will. They deserve love, respect, and partnership. But let’s be real, some of them need to do better. Not just for us, but for themselves. Because too many are out here thinking relationships revolve around one thing: getting in between a woman’s legs.
I’ve dated all types, church boys, hustlers, activists, corporate men, intellectuals, so-called “alphas,” and those who swear they’re different. And no matter how unique they seemed at first, when you take sex off the table? Whew. The shift is instant. Some get distant, some get mad, some start guilt-tripping, and others act like their time has been wasted. But the message is always the same: If you’re not giving it up, you’re not worth their effort.
I used to think Black men, in particular, would love us differently, deeper, with more understanding. But too often, I realized I wasn’t being seen. I was being solved just enough for access. And when I set boundaries, their real nature showed.
I know it’s not all Black men. There are good ones out there. But let’s be honest: too many are out here chasing validation instead of building real connection. And that’s where I challenge our men: do better. Learn to value a woman beyond what she can do for you physically. Understand that true strength isn’t in how many women you’ve had, but in how you love, lead, and build.
I’m not mad. I’m not bitter. I’m just aware. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned? Watch how a man acts when he realizes he’s not entitled to your body. That moment tells you everything you need to know.
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