!
It’s 36 degrees, the lights in this house are dim as hell, and guess what? The water is officially out. No hot, no cold—nothing. We’re pretty sure the pipes have called it quits and busted somewhere, which is fantastic because, you know, we totally have experience dealing with freezing weather disasters down here (sarcasm, obviously).
Meanwhile, outside, people are still acting a fool in this snow. I turned on the news to check the weather, and what do I see? Some man sledding down Esplanade on a pool float, screaming, “We outside, baby!” Like sir, we know. Then, there’s a group of folks straight-up building an igloo in City Park, like we’re in the damn Arctic. I can’t lie—I respect the commitment.
But the real MVPs? The ones out here thinking they can drive on black ice like it’s just a little morning dew. I watched a dude in a Dodge Charger hit the gas, only to do a full 360 spin into a snowbank. Someone else in a pickup truck thought they were invincible—spoiler alert: they were not. The way these cars are sliding around, it looks like Mario Kart Louisiana Edition.
And THEN… they had the nerve to call me into work today. Like, how?! What part of SNOWED IN do y’all not understand?! Am I supposed to teleport there?! Y’all want me to risk my life so I can come sit in an empty building, staring at the walls, while customers are at home wrapped in blankets drinking hot chocolate? Yeah… I’m not coming. Try again.
This whole situation is insane. New Orleans was not built for this—but somehow, we’re making it work (with a lot of ridiculousness along the way).
Stay warm, y’all. And if you must drive today, just know… I’m watching the news, and I will laugh if you end up spinning in circles.
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